Wednesday November 8 2023

I deleted instagram and TikTok from my phone and I don’t scroll thru apps anymore, and I don’t watch YouTube. I have been struggling with heavy internet addiction pretty much all my life and it was really weighing me down for a long time, and nothing worked for me but going cold turkey. I also started walking on the treadmill at the gym for at least 30min every day because I was living a sedentary lifestyle. I also quit drinking coffee, to save money and to calm my nervous system. I started all that November 1 and it’s been a week now, and I’m feeling happy and healthy. It was really lonely and weird for the first few days but I don’t miss all the advertising and hatred that I was seeing on every social media, I felt so drained by that. I’m slowly readjusting. I do want to keep posting of course since I do that for my job but just through my computer quickly without getting lost down rabbit holes on the internet and feeling miserable about it. I want to redirect all my energy to taking good care of myself and making lots of art. It feels like I am going very slowly, but that’s part of the healing process I guess. I have a lot of projects to keep me busy and good friends around me. It feels really good to work out at the gym and beautiful nature is easily accessible where I live, I’m really happy I moved here. I just have to keep it up, i think I was preparing for this on and off when I attempted before, but I’m doing it for real this time. I did play Minecraft on my switch last night for hours haha, everything is built to keep extreme attention like that. I’ll have to be careful around Minecraft too. I think my hyper focus is my super power and if I direct it specifically at art projects I want to do, that will be really healthy and I can get a lot done. I need to let go of resistance to move forward. I think I am doing good, I’m proud of myself. I have been cooking healthy food at home too like prepping a bunch of veggies and adding salmon and having green smoothies. I want to stay positive and be a kind person.